?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Sick and Boring

I've had a stomach virus for the past three days, I've missed work for three days in a row and even though I hate my job at EBSCO Teleservices, I find myself wishing to be there. This is not because I like being there, or because I want to be with anyone that works there. I don't mind most of the people that work at EBSCO, but they aren't people that I would actively try to hang out with if I weren't forced to be with them for five hours, four days a week. I don't enjoy what I do there. I guess I just recognize the fact that stagnancy isn't good. We need variety in our lives or our brains will implode.

I asked my girlfriend if she thought I was boring. She said yes. The sad thing is that I knew what the answer was before she even said it. I know I'm boring. I have no life. I work, I sleep, I watch television, I love my girlfriend. Most days I do little more than sit on my ass. That's all I do. This doesn't mean that our relationship is bad, it's just that we see each other all the time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and lately neither of us has been absent. She wants to punch me in the face half the time and I continuously feel like I'm clinging to her for entertainment, for her to give me some sort of hint that she needs something so I can get it for her. The rest of the time I feel like I'm just trying to stay out of the way so I'm not being annoying.

I feel it weighing on my personality. I don't have anything to talk about. I wanted to post blog entries for the past couple of days, but I couldn't think of anything interesting enough to talk about. I'm trying to find a new job, but I feel so defeated by the job market half the time, that sometimes I feel that it's not even worth bothering.

I need a recharge. I need someplace to go, a schedule, a purpose, an objective. Or at least I need friends that I can hang out with on a regular basis. I need positive motivation. SOMETHING MOTIVATE ME!! PLEASE!!!

Tags: